The Grind

I'm back in Shi Yan. In some ways, the past month seemed like an eternity (a badly needed one, at that), and in other ways, it was a flash. I have thought about a lot of things, and have learned so much. In case you missed my Xanga blog, I've set some goals for myself this term which I hope will make things better. Life is good right now, and I plan to keep it that way. I'm determined more than ever to focus on the big picture, and to keep the small things from getting to me. I also want to be more encouraging. I feel like I'm coming out of an emotional trough, and I want to ride this wave to its crest as long as possible. I feel strong, like I have overcome a great foe, but I know I haven't done anything. I have to give that credit to my Lord.

My prayer life has changed. I pray more now, and I think its evolving, becoming more personal, almost stronger or deeper. It's exciting to me, like when you work out for a long time and finally begin to see some results. I know this is not where I need to stop though. I still have a lot of road before me. I mainly focus on this semester, but I also am having difficulty making decisions for the future. I have opportunity to be in a better situation as a teacher in china next year, with a better support system. I'm also thinking a lot about grad school, and finishing that off. Brandon has difficulty with his decision as well. I don't want to base my decision solely on his, but I feel a certain degree of committment to forming a team, so his decision will affect mine some. I'd also like to think about getting married--sounds strange, especially since I don't even have a girlfriend--but it seems like I'm getting closer to the ideal time for that to happen.

This trip has been a great reflection tool, and I've built some great relationships on the way. I pray I can take the momentum gained from this trip and carry it over to my semester. I feel like I'm really testing my faith as I go into the future, like I'm just walking into a tunnel of darkness. But I guess that's how most of life is anyway. "Commit you work to the Lord and your plans will be established."

I'm not worried about the future.

Grace and Peace,

Kyle